writing snippets - 2025 (ongoing)

10.15.2025 - i slice and cleave into my flesh, carve it out. there are striations in my meat, too. this is an awfully messy affair, to shear the flesh from my bones. all good things come to those who work for it, though, and i am really working for it. i pierce my abdomen and thrust my hand into the cavity i have made. i touch my heart, which is all too calm given the circumstance. this is processual to me. there are steps, i know what i am undertaking and how to find what i am looking for. i pull my hand back, brushing my ribs from the inside. on the way out one grabs at my skin like a thorn.

10.11.2025 - Thickets snapped under the wolf’s feet as he continued down the hill. His hindquarters nearly buckled with each gallop. It was getting harder to catch his breath, but he must persist. The band of enemies was not far behind him. If he were to falter, he would surely be ripped apart. He contorted around new growth trees and nicked his paws on their roots. It was dawn before he could rest. The wolf found himself near the cliff’s edge, not an ideal place to evade the farmer’s hounds. He would need to move soon, but for now he could let the hitch in his side melt. He was again on the move before the sun had a chance to fully rise. Each scuffle in the distance caused the fur on his spine to raise. Luckily, the hounds were quite smelly and provided him with a mental map of where to avoid. It was unlike the wolf to be awake with the sun overhead. He was getting tired, but then these were desperate times. Nothing was like his life with his natal pack. Soon, he thought, Soon I will find others. And he must, today proved that much.

08.19.2025 - i think i am beginning to transgress the confines of “casual kink.” by “casual kink” i am referring to the average person’s participation in kink where it is a means to have more fun sex, or as a seasoned Domme on fetlife more elaborately and accurately put it: “Pop-kink media has taught them that domination is defined by a list of kinky acts: spanking, spitting, and verbal humiliation, etc. They think the acts are the domination, when in truth, the acts are only the surface expression of the Dynamic. Thus, they often conflate “doing BDSM things” with being in a BDSM dynamic.” - racywilde, fetlife. 08/11/2025. the author also appropriately separates her Domination from her Topping, stating that she leads activities with beginners without imposing the structure of domination. she says she takes beginners on a “discovery journey” through which she can measure responses, and gauge the submissive’s limits. you cannot consent to what you do not understand, and you cannot understand without experience. i feel i am on the brink of the end of my initial “discovery journey” (of which there will be more. nobody exists in a fixed state). i am ready for intentionally crafted domination, a Dynamic with ritual and protocol. true BDSM.before that is a possibility, however, i need to discover the maximum limit to the actions i know i enjoy.